Unconditional love. They talk about it when it comes to parents showing unconditional love to their kids, but you never hear of the love these children show their parents.
Lately I’ve been on a journey to find myself again, and to take care of myself. After my beautiful Nana passed away nearly two years ago now, I just gave up on myself. I became someone I didn’t know because I didn’t know myself without her, and I just stopped doing anything for myself. My grief consumed me, and from that point on our lives became harder as time went on.
We had all three of our children diagnosed with ASD and then my days became running from psych appointments to OT appointments, to speech appointments and from kindy runs to school runs. So I let my cup drain and become completely dry. But for us to fill our families cups when our own cups are empty, is just impossible. So mums, take notice. Because it took me far too long to accept that for my family to be happy, I need to be too. For too long I saw it as being selfish and how dare I want to be a real person. 🙈 I’m a mum! How dare I exist outside of that “mum” world? So I’m trying to keep my cup at least half full so I have enough to share.
To fill my cup, I’ve been trying to get to the gym and take care of my body as much as possible because for the longest time I’ve always come last. And I’m not just talking about “just behind everyone else by a hair” last. I’m talking everyone has packed up, gone home and gone to bed after the race while I’m still heading for the finish line. So now that I’ve seen that my needs are equally as important, I’m happier and healthier. And my kids who have seen me at my worst, and then trying to get to my best, have loved me and supported me this whole time. (And asking me if I went to an exercise gym or a Pokémon gym 😂) That is unconditional love. It’s not just about the parents showing it. It’s mutual.
So parents, grandparents and carers, don’t ever think that doing something for you means that your kids are being let down or that they’re going to be worse off. The fact of the matter is that we all need a break sometimes. We all need to feel that glimpse of “holy shit I am actually a person and have an identity!” to keep our heads above water. It doesn’t make you a bad parent or a bad person. It makes you A HUMAN BEING. And if you see your partner struggling a little bit, TELL THEM they need a break. Send them out for some “me” time. We all need it. I know I did. 😘